Dialogue Concerning Birthdays
"Happy birthday, Synthia!" "Why," mused Synthia, "do we celebrate birthdays? I fail to see anything special about the calendar day on which a person's age-in-calendar-years passes an integer. Are...
View ArticleThe Morality of Ringing a Bell
"Synthia, I want your opinion on something," said Quiana. "You will have it." "Is it wrong to enjoy ringing a bell?" "Pardon me?" said Synthia. "I said," said Quiana, "is it wrong to enjoy ringing a...
View ArticleLies and Delusion
One day, two philosophers were dining in a restaurant. "There's no such thing as lying," said the first philosopher to his companion. "Anytime someone speaks falsehood, it must be the case that they...
View ArticleTelling Her There
"And so," said Synthia, "if you feel too self-conscious to write an email, if you don't know what to say or are afraid of saying the Wrong Thing, it might help to lower your quality standard and just...
View ArticleCoffee Names
"Hi, could I have a grande vanilla iced-coffee?" "And your name?" "Zack." "Is that Zach with an ch or Zack with a ck?" "You know, I've even seen it done with just a c. But really, isn't this what we...
View ArticleT.O.P.
"Don't worry, we've got our T.O.P. engineer working on it," said the support man on the phone with our most important customer, glancing meaningfully across the open-plan office in my direction; I...
View ArticleNaughty List
(examining a Christmas card and enclosed document, frowning) "I think my Uncle Benny is mad at me." "Why?" "Well, every Christmas since me and my brother were kids, instead of getting us toys or cash...
View ArticleThis Has Always Been the Year
At a quarter past eight on the first Monday of the new year, the yellow line on the way to the city has just passed Orinda. A young man is standing in the bicycle priority area near the doors, reading...
View Article"Living Well Is the Best Revenge"
My enemies do not deserve to suffer, because no sentient creature deserves to suffer. My enemies deserve good, human lives. I imagine them happily married and living in nice houses in the suburbs with...
View Article
